The Unshakable Truth About Fear
“Fear of self is the greatest of all terrors, the deepest of all dread, the commonest of all mistakes. From it grows failure. Because of it, life is a mockery. Out of it comes despair.”David Seasbury
Not an uncommon saying, that fear kills dreams. Honestly, I would never consider it before this current month I am living in. Fear is an absolute monster, but one that I often controlled and used to my advantage constantly. I now understand, fear doesn’t creep into your soul and alter paths until the unshakable reality creeps in, that fear does exist. Fear not only exists in this world and all others, but it controls and directs.
I often talk of war, and plenty of you understand what that entails. Fear helps guide the unimaginable during uncontrollable times. I remember standing up in my truck, half of my upper torso and head through the turret looking around for an enemy combatant. While peering through binoculars, an enemy marksman took a shot at my skull, missing by an inch to the left, hitting the turret cover behind my head but inches from my face. I continued to look around without considering what the result could be.
Now, my war is over. Instead, anticipated time with my loved one has begun. I love every day, moment, and thank God every day for allowing me to reach this point after decades of fighting. With no enemy, no structure, fear has begun to infest my organs. Lack of money or work is a constant thought, but not something that keeps me awake at night. I can always find methods to bring in multiple streams of income, actually challenge myself to do so. Instead, I fear making the wrong decisions, taking the wrong path.
In the Marine Corps, this was never an issue. Paths were edged in stone, outcomes were easily determined. Now, in a different world, decisions mean everything, no matter the cost. One wrong move could result in dreams crushed, empires toppled, families destroyed. Not only does this keep me up at night, but causes my heart to slow down, tears to flow constantly. I wonder if the choice I make today will effect the days of tomorrow, thinking through the strategies and what could result. Then I second guess myself, and create doubt. Doubt, fueled by fear, kills dreams. Without question, this inevitable monster will destroy everything it touches.
So here’s my call to action. This is what I need from you, to not only help me, but the readers as well. How do you combat fear, without adrenaline? What methods do you use to make the worries of today subside, to allow you to make it to tomorrow? Is it faith? Is it experience? What is it, so the turmoils of yourself cease to destroy?
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